Have you ever taken inventory of your friends and close family members? Do you have more negative people than positive folks in your life? Attracting negativity is effortless for some individuals, but it can affect you in detrimental ways.
One way to tell if you’re in the presence of a toxic person is that they leave you to feel bad about yourself or manipulated in some form. Each encounter with this individual seems to make you a bit more pessimistic and harm your positive outlook. Did you know that some of your most vital attributes can be threatened when you’re surrounded by negativity?
Your character may have a “shadow side” or a gray area where your strengths turn into weaknesses. Has anyone ever told you that you’re a doormat for folks because you’re constantly used and abused by others? When you attract negativity into your life, your strengths can become weaknesses, and you don’t need the hassle.
The key is to learn boundaries and say no even when you don’t want to do so. By taking charge of who you allow in your inner circle, you can ward off negative relationships. According to Joaquín Selva, Bc.S. from Psychology Today, establishing boundaries is healthy and part of creating your personal identity.
Seven Things That Explain Why You Might Be Attracting Negativity
No one wants to suppress the positivity that lives inside them. However, it would help to educate yourself against attracting negativity because these folks can use it against you. Do you find that these people are drawn to you like flies on honey?
There could be some reasons why you’re such a magnet to these toxic and harmful folks. Simply put, you might be too nice. Others are taking advantage of your kindness. Here are the most common reasons why the negative is constantly knocking at your door.
1. You’re Free to Share Your Dreams
There are two kinds of people in life, those who settle and those who strive for big dreams. If you’re one of those people who loves to dream big, then you’re probably an instant attraction to the negative. Watch being overly free with your goals or aspirations as some folks might see you as unrealistic, insistent, or even selfish.
Part of the negative’s apprehension is that your success might overshadow them, so they will discourage you. By planting tiny seeds of doubt and fear in your mind, they can help knock you off track. Some negative folks are miserable, so they don’t want to see anyone else push ahead and succeed.
2. You’re a Too Good Listener
It’s hard to find someone who will intently listen these days. People who are too busy surfing their phones are on the go-to stop and conversate properly. However, you may be someone who will drop everything for someone who needs to be heard.
The negative person knows you’re a captive audience, so they take things to the next level. If you listen, they will steal your time. No matter how much you hate it, they insist on sharing unsolicited and harmful details about their life with you. Those who find themselves empathetic listeners are more prone to be a target to the negative conversationalist.
3. Your Sunny Disposition Is Attractive
Have you ever heard the saying that light attracts darkness or opposites attract? Well, when you have an optimistic outlook on life, there’s a light of positivity that radiates from you. Now, to the person stuck in the darkness of negativity, they may see you as a beacon of hope, as they crave light.
If you’re known as a person with a sunny disposition, your infectious smile lights up a room and makes you the one people want to talk to. While these are attractive qualities, they’re also a magnet for negative folks. These toxic folks are characteristically unhappy with themselves, so they need to find someone to help lift them up and give them validation.
Attracting negativity is effortless because you give these folks the boost in the confidence they crave.
4. You’re Available and Show Yourself Open Attracting Negativity
Are you a generous person that’s always available? The helpful person is a trait that the negative is drawn to. They love someone who is charitable with their time, money, and advice.
These folks like to cling to you because they know you will give them an ear and be compassionate towards their situation. The problem is that these individuals will demand more and more of your time, and you will start to feel resentful of such interactions.
5. You’re a Problem Solver
Some people have the unique gift of being problem solvers. You can build bridges and make ways where there seems to be no way possible. You’ve probably always been this way, as you can’t stand to see disputes go unsolved.
You will move heaven and earth to fix an issue, especially if you’re involved. Most folks love that you’re a natural problem solver who likes to fix things. However, it would help if you remembered that often the negative has burned more bridges than you can count.
They’re not really interested in you fixing their problem, but they just want to tie up your time and have someone else to whine about how unkind life is to them.
6. You’re Patient and Kind
Are you an easy-going person who is patient and kind? Most easy-going folks know how to remain calm when everything is going wrong. You can make it through challenging situations because you’re strong.
No doubt, your strong nature will be key for attracting negativity. You seem always to have a word of comfort for someone, and you’re not going to be condescending with them. Instead, the patience and kindness you show is something that brings these folks inner peace.
While they won’t do anything with your advice, they still want to bombard you with their issues. They also know that you’re weak when it comes to saying “no.” Due to your kind nature, you will say “yes” when you really should walk the other way.
They will wait for these moments of weakness to rope you into things you don’t want to do.
7. You Have a High Tolerance for Toxic People
Like most folks, you see the world as being full of kind and decent human beings. However, you can’t turn a blind eye to the fact that there are people who tend to be all about doom and gloom. These folks have probably been through some pretty bad things in their life, and they don’t know how to get out of the negative rut they’re in.
You may struggle to accept that there is a darker side to human nature, and you hold onto relationships with people in the hope that they will change. Illinois State University studied the darker side of folks, and they discovered that many people don’t know how to navigate the discomfort they’ve experienced. When these people go through disturbing and terrifying events, they don’t process them properly.
So, it changes their views on life and even their personality. You, being the kind person you are, likely overlook many things. Sadly, this includes a few put-downs or unkind actions just because you’re always looking for that silver lining through the dark clouds.
Attracting negativity is effortless for some folks, and when you seem to be surrounded by these behaviors, it can’t help but affect your spirits.
Three Ways To Stop Attracting Negativity
Okay, now you know what you’re that’s so attractive to these folks, so you need to fix it. Here are some practical ways to stop being such a magnet for the negative.
- Set boundaries: One of the first things you need to do is set firm limitations. You get to call the shots in your life, including the topics you will discuss and who you will give your time to. Don’t let anyone cross the boundaries you’ve made, as they are there to protect you.
- Realize you can’t solve all the world’s problems: You’re a good and kind person, but you can’t bring world peace. You must learn that you can’t fix every situation, and it’s exhausting to try.
- Stop being so available: One of the primary reasons why people seek you out is that you’re available. Don’t be so eager to attract negativity. Stop letting people drag you into extended conversations on the phone or in-person that drain you emotionally.
When you stop making yourself so available, you will stop having so many interactions.
Final Thoughts on Attracting Negativity
Negativity is a darkness that can invade every fiber of your being if you allow it. What happens if a tomato gets a tiny spec of mold on it? It won’t be long before the entire vegetable is covered in toxins. Negative people are very similar in that they will overtake you with their pessimism if you allow them.
If you want to stop attracting negativity, it’s time to set up some proverbial walls around yourself that can protect you from such doom and gloom.